7 Hills Every Minnesotan Is Willing To Die On
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Trent Jonas
Author
Every state has its hills that its residents are willing to die on. These truths about living in Minnesota are some of the hills that folks in the Land of 10,000 Lakes are willing to fight for.
1. Hockey is the greatest sport EVER, and it's ours.
You can't overstate how much hockey is a part of life in Minnesota. We're home to the United States Hockey Hall of Fame (Eveleth) and Hockeytown, USA (Warroad). We send more hockey players to the NHL than any other state, our high school tournaments draw as many fans as the Stanley Cup, and our men's and women's college teams have more hardware than a Home Depot. Minnesota is "The State of Hockey" - and you're not.
2. Speaking of sports, as far as Minnesotans are concerned, there are only two pro football teams that matter: the Vikings and the Packers.
Packers fans may worry about winning championships, but we Vikings fans are just happy to beat our cheesehead neighbors.
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3. Despite the many imitators, there are only two real Ju(i)cy Lucys, and you can only get them from Matt's Bar or the 5-8 Club in Minneapolis.
Both of these dives are located on Cedar Ave. in Minneapolis, and both claim to have invented the infamous burger stuffed with molten cheese. And in Minnesota, you're either a Matt's person or a 5-8 fan. Both serve up fresh, tasty burgers, and we offer no opinion as to which Lucy is best. ([cough] Matt's [cough])
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4. Every Minnesotan is willing to fight for - and die on - their own personal, geographic hill: Minneapolis versus St. Paul. The Cities versus Up North. Outstate versus everybody. We could use a former governor to referee for us.
Anyone from St. Paul will tell you they hate to "cross the river." Meanwhile, Minneapolitans aren't quite sure where St. Paul is, exactly. Moreover, in the Bold North, there are only three appropriate answers to the question, "Where are you going this weekend?": The Cities; Up North; or Nowhere. If you answer anything else, you're just showing off. Oh, and folks from Outstate Minnesota hate the term "Outstate Minnesota" - so try and avoid using it.
5. It may be spelled c-a-s-s-e-r-o-l-e in some places, but it's pronounced "hotdish" in Minnesota.
To Minnesotans, a "casa-roll" sounds like a Tex-Mex appetizer. It's hotdish, and it'd better have tater tots and cream of mushroom soup in it, or we'll tell your mom.
6. We ARE nice, darn it!
Minnesotans are super nice, dontcha know. We weaponize nice. We're so nice, we'll always ask how you're doin', smile politely while you respond, and invite you to have lunch sometime. Just don't ever accept.
7. There is no goose, only gray duck.
Among the hills that Minnesotans are willing to die on, this may be foremost.
Do any of these sound familiar? What other truths about living in Minnesota do you think should be on this list?
By the way, if you’ve ever wondered why we say “gray duck” instead of “goose,” this article offers some insight.
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