It’s common knowledge that Massachusetts is an absolutely awful place to visit during the winter. In fact, even native Bay Staters can often be found huddled in frozen herds at the southern border, clamoring to be let out. 

Don’t believe us? Here are a few reasons you’d have to be crazy to stick around Massachusetts all winter. 

1. You’ll be struck blind by how ugly it is here in the winter.
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Frosty winter scenes and snowy landscapes lurk around every corner. Try not to gag.
2. Boston is particularly gruesome.
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All that sparkling snow and wintery light really bring out the worst in our capital city’s historic brownstone buildings and gleaming skyscrapers.
3. Our beaches become unusable salty wastelands.
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If you want to walk along the beach, prepare yourself for nothing but solitude and the sound of the waves. It’s an ecological catastrophe.
4. There’s nothing to eat. Just snow and tears.
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If only we had some hot, hearty local dishes to sustain us through the endless winter.
5. All of our beautiful coastal towns are deserted. Not a tourist in sight.
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You’ll have to put up with a lot of calm, quiet streets and peaceful harbors. Don’t even get us started on the parking. There’s tons of it.

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6. Hardly anyone decorates for the holidays.
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It’s depressing, really. The Commonwealth of Grinches.
7. There’s nothing for our children to do. We just lock them up until spring.
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Sure, there’s the odd bit of sledding. And ice skating, if you’re into that sort of thing. Hiking, skiing, snowboarding, tubing, and snowman-making are all fine in a pinch. But besides all the holiday activities and general outdoor exploration, the poor things are starved for amusement.
8. The frosty cobblestone streets and snowy hills of Massachusetts are where romance goes to die.
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You’ll be on your fourth hot chocolate and second horse-drawn sleigh ride when you realize love is a capitalist construct and that the cozy, colonial bed and breakfast you booked only offers three kinds of locally-sourced maple syrup.
9. We have to take lovely little snowy strolls all winter and it’s miserable.
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Regular stroll season is strictly from April to November. After that, you better get ready for four months of compulsory winter wonderland walking.
10. Best get on good terms with the squirrel that raids your bird feeder, because that’s all the wildlife you’ll be seeing until spring.
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The wilds of Massachusetts harbor no life in the winter. Scientists and David Attenborough are baffled.
11. It can be awful digging your car out before work.
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... alright, this one’s actually true.

Okay, okay, you got us. We actually heartily recommend checking out Massachusetts in the winter. In fact, call us crazy, but we think the Bay State is actually one of the best places to be when chilly weather strikes.

What are some of your “least” favorite things about Massachusetts in the winter?

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