15 Reasons No One In Their Right Mind Visits Maryland In The Winter
By Jamie Alvarenga
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Published February 03, 2018
How do YOU feel about winter? Whether you love it or hate it, there’s no denying that you can’t escape it in Maryland. The temperatures drop, snow makes an appearance, and soon we’re craving spring. However, if you stay positive, there’s a lot to love about the cold season as well. Take a look at this list of cheeky reasons no one in their right mind visits Maryland in winter. This sarcastic list just may cheer you up.
1. Snow is downright ugly.
Look at how it glistens. Ew.
2. And there's absolutely nothing to do.
Skiing, snowboarding, tubing, snowshowing... who actually enjoys these activities?
3. Sledding goes too fast. The air hurts my face as I yell with joy.
I don't like things that are too much fun.
4. You'll probably get tired of hot chocolate...
I'm blaming my sugar spike on you, hot chocolate.
5. ...and cozying up next to the fireplace.
This makes me too comfortable and tired. I don't trust it.
6. Snowball fights are too violent.
And I can't even form a snowball correctly. It's frustrating.
7. The waterfalls become frozen over and it looks too magical.
If I wanted to live in Antarctica, I'd move to... Antarctica.
8. Winter sunrises are bleh...
Who does the sun think it is being all inspirational?
9. ...and the sunsets are just as gross.
I prefer ending my day with black skies to match my soul.
10. Sometimes the bay becomes beautifully icy and that makes me uncomfortable.
I moved to Maryland for the water views... not the ice views, okay?
11. Why even go outside?
The people who do Polar Bear Plunge are too inspiring. It makes me feel bad.
12. Winter hiking is too peaceful and quiet.
Where is everyone else? I crave crowded paths!
13. There are no photo opportunities.
What a dreadful sight.
14. Snow days are the worst. I'd rather be working.
Why relax when you can stress on the roads to work?
15. Yep. There are absolutely no reasons to love winter in Maryland.
It's the worst and by worst, I actually mean best.
For a fascinating article about Maryland’s worst winter ever, click here . It will truly make you feel better about the current year.
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