16 Thoughts Every Marylander Has When Picking Crabs
By Jamie Alvarenga
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Published May 08, 2016
After what seemed like eons of waiting, crab season is finally here! You can find steamed blue crabs in a few of our neighboring states but everyone knows that NO ONE does crabs like Maryland. Picking crabs is a lot of work. So much so, that some people don’t understand why we sit for hours for only a little bit of meat. Well, Marylanders get it. Here are 16 thoughts every Marylander has when picking crabs.
1. When you're not particularly hungry, so you announce, "I'll only eat one."
2. But then one leads to two...
3. And the next thing you know, you've massacred two dozen crabs.
4. The tragic let down when there's not enough seasoning.
5. Or when there's too much seasoning, burning your lips like the fires of Hades.
6. When you cut your finger on one of the crab's spikes, but choke down the tears because there's still more crabs to be eaten.
7. When you're later reminded of that cut upon clean up time.
Purell = agonizing.
8. The awesome feeling of knowing you came prepared.
9. The unnerving feeling when a steamed crab seems to look at you with utter despair.
10. When you boldly declare "I don't need a mallet!"
11. But then you encounter a giant claw and all bets are off.
12. When you get a bushel of extra juicy crabs and the juice squirts in your eye.
13. The feeling of success when you find the perfect piece of crab meat.
14. When you can't fathom just how perfectly beer pairs with crabs.
15. And finally, the satisfaction of knowing that this...
16. Turns into this. A glorious display that only Marylanders will understand.
Happy crab season! What are other thoughts you have while picking crabs? Share in the comments.
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