Baltimoreans may be used to the following things (and even love them), but it’s difficult for out-of-towners to understand just how amazing Charm City life really is. We’ve heard all the complaints about Baltimore but we’ve flipped the script to bring you this list of cheeky reasons to never, ever move here. It’s horrible 😉

1. You'll develop an unhealthy habit to this.
Flickr / Mike Mozart
The addiction happens quick and it's hard to kick the habit.
2. And good luck avoiding sugar.
Flickr / Like_the_Grand_Canyon
This is the food of the devil.
3. There's nothing to see here.
Flickr / m01229
What a puny view.
4. The buildings are so ordinary.
Flickr / Sarah Ross
Yawn.
5. Say goodbye to gorgeous green spaces.
Flickr / Jason Brookman
I'll stay indoors, thanks.
6. There's nothing to do here.
Flickr / jamieotterbein
What do tourists even come here for?
7. The food is disgusting.
Flickr / jpellgen
A cake made of crab just sounds wrong.

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8. The holiday season is just so blah.
Flickr / Beau Considine
The bright lights hurt my eyes.
9. Winning gets old.
Flickr / Keith Allison
Being this good is such a burden.
10. Water views are a bore.
Flickr / Henk Sijgers
I prefer to keep my water in a cup, thanks.
11. Ugh. Talk about light pollution.
Flickr / Craig Fildes
Nighttime at the harbor is too beautiful. It makes me uncomfortable.
12. I bet nothing important even happened here.
Flickr / opacity
Star Spangled WHAT?!
13. Shouting "O!" so loudly is sure to ruin vocal chords.
Flickr / Keith Allison
It's dangerous and irresponsible.
14. There are too many festivals. It's overwhelming.
Flickr / Plaubel Makina
Who do all these people think they are celebrating things?
15. Baltimore is just the worst.
Flickr / Michael Ostendorp
Avoid at all costs.

Never move to Baltimore. It’ll ruin you for life.

 

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