15 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Georgia
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Marisa Roman
Author
Ahh, Georgia. You sure are a perplexing state. One minute you’re raining down frosty sleet, the next you’re allowing for a t-shirt and shorts. When will you ever make up your mind? Alas, you’re quite the unpredictable one, aren’t you? How can anyone ever decide to live in such a tumultuous state? In fact, here are 15 reasons why people should never, EVER move to Georgia…
None. Whatsoever. Don’t expect to see anything beautiful, perched high above those mountaintops or sitting on the sandy shores.
There is nothing green to look at ever. It’s like a barren wasteland of nothingness. Don’t expect to see anything pretty out in nature in Georgia. It’s like a scene from Mad Max.
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You can’t get any good food anywhere in Georgia. If you’re coming down to visit for vacation, be prepared to starve.
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I mean, how could anyone comfortably walk down a Main Street like this. Where is the charm? Where is the small town finesse?
There is nothing special about Georgia architecture. Not that it is historically important, nor the fact it is so well cared for. It’s really just an eyesore. Where are the bulldozers when you need them?
Let’s forget about the fact that Georgians are so loyal, and just focus on the fact that there are one too many teams across the board. Who needs ‘em, amiright?
You’ll be bored all the time. There are never any farmers' markets, never anything to do on the weekends, and NEVER any events or festivals. You might as well be living on the moon.
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Driftwood, St. Simons Island, Tybee, Jekyll—I mean, you can see the picture above. Appalling, right?
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I keep looking for delicious Georgia-grown-goods and can’t seem to find any. Does Georgia even have any fresh produce anywhere? What about nuts? Pecans? Peaches? GAH!
Trying to escape the city life? Need a vacation from it all. Don’t go to Georgia. You’ll never find a place to camp. And if you do, it will certainly not be beautiful.
If you want to hike in Georgia, then good luck to you. There are only like, a few hundred trails. And almost all of them have sub-par views, like the one above.
Really, though. Who wants to eat succulent, tender, delicious pulled pork, spare ribs, doused in sweet, tangy BBQ sauce all the time?
Ugh. So many scenic vistas. So many utterly dreadful views. I mean, hello? Can we get a nice landscape view for once?
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Too much water. Too much peaceful serenity. And wayyy too many waterfalls throughout the state. It’s almost like you pass a waterfall every few miles, and really, nobody loves waterfalls that much.
Nobody cool. Nobody important. Nobody that changed history indefinitely. So if you expect greatness in your life…just don’t move to Georgia.
Obviously you know we have nothing but love for our beautiful state of Georgia 😉
For more interesting articles about our beloved state, check out Why Savannah, Georgia is The Most Magical Place to Celebrate Christmas.
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