No matter where you come from, you have both certain standards to live up to AND certain rules to live by that should go without saying. If you are new to Colorado and/or have smoked a bit too much legal kush to know what I am referring to, check out these 12 unwritten rules that every Coloradan lives by ’til death:
1. Never slow down and/or stop at a yellow light.
Green means go, yellow means go, and red means stop... after another 10 cars speed through, of course.
2. NOBODY beats a Dealin' Doug deal!
However, despite this knowledge, you will probably still shop elsewhere for your Subaru because you have standards.
3. No self-respecting Coloradan would EVER cheer on the Raiders.
...or Chiefs... or Patriots... or, well, you get the idea.
4. Coloradans will always dip their pizza in honey...
Beau Jo's Colorado-style pizza FTW.
5. ...order their food smothered in homemade Colorado green chile...
Give us ALL the food smothered in green chile!
6. ...and enjoy their meal with one of our famous craft brews.
The easiest way to spot an out-of-towner? By the beer they drink!
7. You never EVER drive on I-25 during rush hour.
...or during a Broncos game, a storm, in the middle of the night, the apocalypse, etc.
8. No...
9. Yes.
Dogs will love you unconditionally and be your best friend for life; cats will think of ways to kill you while you sleep.
10. If it's the weekend, you're outside.
Why wouldn't you want to be? No matter the time of year, there is ALWAYS something fun to do in Colorado!
11. Whenever possible, you bike or walk to work.
You care about the environment and don't mind leaving your Subaru in the garage if it means saving the planet!
12. Finally (and most importantly), never EVER eat at Casa Bonita.
If you are naive in both our warning and the warning of others, then you, your stomach, and your dignity have what is coming to you.
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