I think Arizona is awesome, hands down, end of story. Maybe it’s because I think this land is a diamond in the rough, maybe it’s because I’ve never lived anywhere else, or maybe it’s because I hate myself. Who knows?

But I can say that I hesitate to make that kind if statement out loud though because it seems to invite all the weirdos out of the woodwork. You know them, the ones living in a land of ice and snow, currently enduring a -11 degree wind chill. They hear stories of a mystical land where the sun always shines, where people are always smiling, where the living is easy, and suddenly they just need to move there.

If that’s you (or maybe a loved one or even a mortal enemy), then STOP! You should really think this over because I don’t think you quite understand what you’re getting yourself into. I’ve composed a very helpful list of reasons why you should probably consider moving to another state (like California because who doesn’t want to live there?). So, seriously: read this list (twice, perhaps) and decide if you really want to live here.

1. There is literally nothing growing here.
CEBImagery/Flickr
Okay, maybe there’s a few cacti, bushes, and the occasional wildflower growing from the dirt but I don’t even know how I survive.
2. We don’t have any roads. Just dirt.
Doug Kerr/Flickr
Yup, that’s it. I hope you have your wagon ready.
3. Everything here will kill you.
Casey Myers/Flickr
Wild animals, scorpions, gila monsters, some of the people. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
4. We also don’t have water.
Michael Wilson/Flickr
And what we do have, your neighbor will waste trying to grow a green grassy lawn to remind them of Minnesota or some other greener place.
5. Remember how I said the sun is always shining? Skin cancer.
Kevin Schraer/Flickr
And if not that, then you’ll definitely see wrinkles at a much earlier age than you hope.
6. Your skin will dry out from how dry it is here.
Casey Myers/Flickr
Hello, lizard skin.
7. The heat here is awful and you just might die.
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112 degrees is probably the average summer high and there are days where your thermometer will probably break. See? Death is imminent.
8. Walking down the street on a hot summer’s day means your feet will burn because that heat rises right up through your shoes.
Clay Junell/Flickr
Sometimes the asphalt gets squishy which is super fun.

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9. The landscape here is boring.
Federico Moroni/Flickr
Nothing to see here, move along.
10. There are a few mountains but nothing to write home about.
Logan Brumm/Flickr
Another mountain? Yawn. I don’t know how those trees survive though because it’s super hot here.
11. If you think moving here will help you escape the snow, you’re only kind of right.
Kecin Schraer/Flickr
That awful snow is a common sight in roughly half the state, plus you’ll even find it in our deserts from time to time.
12. We do have lots of uranium mines.
Akos Kokai/Flickr
Mmm, who doesn’t love uranium ore dust floating into their morning coffee?
13. It’s still the Wild West out here.
Peter Haden/Flickr
Shoot out in the town square at noon? Yup, it’s in my daily calendar.
14. There is nothing to see or do here.
Moyan Brenn/Flickr
Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Jason Trim/Flickr
Goodbye, night life!
15. There’s no history or culture here.
Alan English CPA/Flickr
Nothing. There, like, weren’t even people here just a couple hundred years ago.
16. You’ll find that you’ll never leave once you get here.
Julien Haler/Flickr
Maybe you’ll succumb to the elements, maybe you’ll manage to eke out a living here, maybe you’ll find some comfort in living in a tough land. Who knows? Either way, you won’t be leaving.

Okay, maybe we were just a little harsh but the best criticism always seems to come from the people who love you, right? If you want to read a more positive spin on this topic, check out our article 12 Reasons Living In Arizona Is The Best—And Everyone Should Move Here.

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