Oh, tourists – how we love em’ so! They are wide-eyed, bushy-tailed and full of jaw-dropping questions that have us second guessing whether or not they are smarter than a 4th grader. Although we speculate that many tourists leave their logic at home and forget to pack their common sense, if it wasn’t for all those crazy questions we wouldn’t have something highly entertaining to talk about around the campfire. Check out the 20 most ridiculous things people ask about Alaska (and get ready to laugh out loud).
1. Where can I exchange US currency for Alaskan money? Or do you take American money?
Alaskan exchange rate: you give me $100, I give you $20. Yeah, were really hoping the American dollar becomes more valuable someday too. Never quit holding out hope! It’s silly how many people don’t realize that Alaska is a part of the United States.
2. What time do the Northern Lights come out?
For the ten millionth time, they DO NOT COME OUT AT A SCHEDULED TIME. And, scene! Life in Alaska is never boring, but we do get bored of this question!
3. Where in Wasilla can I go to see Russia?
Not sure, you might want to call Mrs. Palin for that answer! One of the myths of Alaska is that you can see Russia. But only if you were way out on Little Diomede Island, which most people aren’t.
4. What is the elevation from here (as the cruise ship sits docked in Juneau)?
SEA LEVEL! (Capitalization inserted to emphasize yelling.) This should be an easy one, guys.
5. Is it true that the fish are trained to run promptly at 8am and again at 5pm?
Yes. Trained by one selected fish (known as the King of the river) that also speaks English and comes to the corporate office one a month to discuss strategy. WOW! They are so well trained!
6. Why is that glacier so dirty? Who cleans it?
If you must ask, a glacier cleaning specialist comes out weekly and gives it a good scrub-a-dub. C'mon people! This is one that most people should know, it shouldn’t come as a surprise.
7. What time do the whales come out at Beluga Point?
Unless you want us to tell you "11pm" when you ask the question at 2pm in the afternoon, just don't ask. It's wildlife people. Get a clue! No one can predict when the wildlife come out!
8. Where do they take all the animals when the park closes for the winter?
Just load em' up and take em' back to the petting zoo, of course. Totally logical. This one always leaves us scratching our head.
9. How much does the Denali weigh? With and without snow?
Hmm, we'll have to check our sources. Anyone here know who was the last to pick the mountain up from the ground and weigh it? Anyone? No takers? Surprising.
10. I heard mosquitoes here are the size of eagles. Is that true?
Eagles? Yikes. That's blowing it a bit out of proportion. Funny joke though! Perhaps they don’t actually know the size of eagles?
11. At what age do the caribou turn into moose?
Congratulations... you are not smarter than a 4th grader! Two different species, people. Two completely different species.
12. What kind of flowers bloom here in the wintertime?
Lovely sparkling (scentless) frost flowers! But if you want a bouquet, you might be out of luck. Well, at least if you try to take it outside. If you keep it on your porch you may just succeed.
13. Is Mt. Denali open to everybody, or just to tourists?
First of all, let's just call it Denali - okay? Secondly, maybe you left your brain at home before you came on vacation? Yeah maybe.
14. Where are all the penguins?
Um... we'll just give you this cute little stuffed penguin and then hopefully all your expectations of Alaska will be magically fulfilled. Who’s going to tell them that penguins don’t live in Alaska?
15. Are there still mammoths around up here?
Wait, what? Do we need to call your history teacher and give him a lecture? Why is this even a question? Is this a common Alaska stereotype?
16. What lake is this cruise ship docked on?
Um... go home. You must be drunk. You’d have to really not be paying attention to ask this question.
17. Do people really live in Igloos?
If we just say "yes" will you tell everyone else in the world to stop asking this dumb question? Great, deal! And why are igloos so fascinating?
18. How are we going to land if there is no airport?
Maybe you should have asked that question before you stepped on board? Hold on tight! Gravel, ice, water... our planes can land just about anywhere, and you’re in for a wild ride!
19. Why do people always say the mud is so dangerous here? It doesn’t look bad at all.
Oh it doesn't look so bad. But go take just one step and you'll probably need us to wipe up your tears after you pee your pants from being so scared. The best thing we can compare it to is quicksand, except the tide comes up, and you’re stuck. This is not a fun situation to be in.
20. Don’t those barrels make a lot of noise when going through the pipeline? I bet the wildlife get annoyed.
Oh yeah, super annoyed. Mad eye rolls and everything. Those barrels are pretty loud, and obviously their weird shape makes tons of noise.
Have you ever been asked any other ridiculous questions from tourists? We love our tourists but they sure are funny once they get in vacation mode! What did you think of this list of things people ask about Alaska? Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments below!
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