8 Things Everyone In Detroit Should Avoid At All Costs

We love the Motor City, but that doesn’t mean it’s without its pitfalls and less-than-perfect elements. In fact, living in Detroit comes with a set of unwritten rules that every citizen should follow to avoid unnecessary stress, judgment, and discomfort. Here are nine things that everyone who calls Detroit home should stay away from.

Flickr/Derral Chen

If there’s one thing we know about Detroit, it’s that weather can change on a dime here. In fact, temperatures in the Motor City have been known to shift between ultra-freezing and steamy hot within mere hours, so there’s no telling when a coat (or the removal of one!) will be necessary. If you want to avoid being chilled to the bone during a random July snowstorm, though, be sure to keep plenty of layers on hand.

Flickr/Derek Bruff

When an upset stomach strikes, every Detroit reaches for the greatest elixir of all: Vernor’s Ginger Ale. Forget about more "normal" medicinal options. Those of us who call the Motor City area home know that Vernor’s is the most surefire way to soothe a stomach ache. The only thing worse than not taking Vernor’s is finding yourself in dire need of Vernor’s without so much as a single can in sight.

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Flickr/A Healthier Michigan

Listen, we get it. Loving the Lions despite their seemingly constant disappointments is an unshakeable trait for most Detroiters and Michiganders. If you’re not keen on being publicly humiliated by fans of other football teams, though, we recommend keeping your Lions obsession quiet when you travel outside of Michigan. Unless you love being the butt of the jokes, that is.

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Flickr/Eugene Kim

There’s no quicker way to face judgment from your fellow Detroit residents than to load your coney dog up with ketchup. The Motor City is known for serving up the tastiest and most perfectly prepared coneys imaginable, but every true Detroit knows that ketchup belongs nowhere near these delicious dogs. If you’re spotted topping your coney with ketchup, prepare for a lifetime of shame and embarrassment.

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Flickr/Mike Boening Photography

Non-Detroiters, we’re gonna let you in on a little secret: "South Detroit" isn’t a real place. In fact, if it did exist, South Detroit would likely be located smack dab in the middle of the Detroit River. So when the Journey hit "Don’t Stop Believing" references being "born and raised in South Detroit," it might as well be referencing another planet. No bonafide Detroiter should be caught singing along!

Flickr/Dave Hogg

We know, we know. Metro Detroit is home to some tough-to-pronounce words, including "Gratiot," "Dequindre," and "Livernois," just to name a few. If you call Detroit home, be sure to brush up on your pronunciation. After all, one incorrectly spoken name might just diminish your status as a true-blue Motor City faithful.

Flickr/like_the_grand_canyon

Above all, Detroiters should avoid wasting their breath on folks who are truly committed to misunderstanding the history and legacy of the Motor City. Our town’s story is decidedly unique, loaded with plenty of ups, downs, disappointments, and triumphs. We’re too focused on our future to spend time explaining ourselves to people whose minds are closed from the get-go. Detroit is a beautiful and vibrant place to call home, and we should avoid sharing it with anyone other than soon-to-be allies.

Flickr/wyliepoon

Above all, Detroiters should avoid wasting their breath on folks who are truly committed to misunderstanding the history and legacy of the Motor City. Our town’s story is decidedly unique, loaded with plenty of ups, downs, disappointments, and triumphs. We’re too focused on our future to spend time explaining ourselves to people whose minds are closed from the get-go. Detroit is a beautiful and vibrant place to call home, and we should avoid sharing it with anyone other than soon-to-be allies.

Are there any other things people who live in Detroit should avoid at all costs? We always love to hear what you have to say, so be sure to share your thoughts with us by leaving a Facebook comment. If you have an idea for another Motor City-centric article, fill out our official nomination form here.

Can’t get enough Motor City content? Be sure to check out these vintage photos of Detroit.