11 Things You Have To Do Before You're An Official Iowan
By Michaela Kendall
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Published February 24, 2016
Sure, you may have been born in Iowa, or have lived here most of your life – but that doesn’t mean you’re a true Iowan. No, no, you’re not a true Iowan until you have done these 11 things:
1. You've picked a side: Iowa or Iowa State.
Or maybe you were born into a certain side. In which case, you could still choose, but your family may disown you...
2. You've argued with someone about who serves the best tenderloin in Iowa.
You swear it's at the drive-in down the road. Your buddy from out of town thinks his local cafe's is the best. You agree to disagree.
3. Or you've argued with someone about whether or not you should put ketchup on a Maid Rite.
If you put ketchup on it, you might as well just throw it away.
4. You've made the trek to the Iowa State Fair to see the butter cow.
And it was as glorious as you expected.
5. You've experienced RAGBRAI at least once - and saw more than you may have liked through all those tight bike shorts.
Every. Single. Detail.
6. You've experienced the craziness of the Iowa Caucuses - and you've had to ditch your landline because of it.
You've boarded up your windows, but somehow they still find ways to reach you.
7. You've made the trip to Adventureland at least once, and it was much more fun than you'll ever admit.
R.I.P Silly Silo and Log Ride. You will be missed.
8. You've bought sweet corn from a random person on the side of the road, or in a parking lot.
Doesn't everyone do that?...
9. You've mastered the finger wave - and you regularly receive them.
It's an unspoken gesture of greeting here, and "Iowa Nice" in its natural form.
10. You've gotten stuck behind a slow-moving tractor in the road.
It's a fact of life that everyone in rural Iowa has to deal with. But it's still better than a crowded freeway.
11. You can answer this question: Is this heaven?
If you have done these things, pat yourself on the back. You, my friend, are a true Iowan.
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